Category: Clothes

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Clothes Lists

Best Sports Bras for MtF Bodies

photo of woman wearing grey sports bra
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Sports bras are a necessary part of any MtF wardrobe: they’re comfortable, concealing (if you want), and provide needed support as your boobs grow.

But finding the right sports bra can be a challenge, especially for trans women. As I’ve written about before, the post-pubescent male ribcage is wider and deeper than the equivalent cis female’s. Additionally, trans female breasts tend to be a little lower and more widely spaced than cis female counterparts.

This generally makes finding bras that fit a challenge, and while sports bras are inherently more forgiving than underwire bras, they still can be uncomfortable if not fitted properly. Common problems include:

  • The band-to-cup size ratio is too big, leading to a fit that is often loose for trans women with larger bands but smaller cups.
  • The shoulder straps are too short, leading to the bra riding up into the armpits during the day.

So here are my favorite sports bras that fit well for MtF body shapes.

Jockey Seamless Sports Bra

My go-to is the Jockey Seamless Sports Bra. It is super soft and has wide, removable cups. The double layer in front provides plenty of coverage and lift without the cups if you want a slimmer look. Though it’s advertised as ‘seamless’ there are still visible seams on the shoulder straps, though the main band is pretty low-profile.

This sports bra is a racer-back style, and best of all the straps are deep enough that it won’t dig up into your armpits. The cups are also plenty flexible while still providing good support for smaller breasts.

Balanced Tech Printed Performance Seamless Sports Bra

If you’re looking for a great strappy sports bra for lower impact activities, the Balanced Tech Printed Performance Seamless Sports Bra is a great choice. It comes in lots of nice prints, and has a good amount of support for a light sports bra.

The extra wide band at the bottom is why I love this bra; it doesn’t ride up and provides a surprisingly comfortable fit without being too constricting. The adjustable straps make it easy to position low enough on your chest so it doesn’t ride up into your armpits.

This one does tend to run on the small side, so you’ll want to size up when you order.

adidas All Me Sports Bra

My third recommendation is the adidas All Me Sports Bra. This is another ‘light activity’ sports bra, but a really good choice for A to C cups. This is a great bra for when you don’t feel like wearing a bra; it doesn’t have a lot of fabric so you almost forget you are wearing it.

I really like the straps instead of the full racer-back, though they aren’t adjustable. But they have plenty of length and stretch without too much pull, so the bra doesn’t ride up. Sizing is just about right and the pads are removable.

I’d love to know what your go-to sports bra is!

Categories
Appearance Clothes Tucking

Beginners Guide to Tucking

person with tattoo on right arm
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For many trans women, being able to wear the clothes you want without the ‘bulge’ is an important part of feeling normal. Whether you are wearing a dress, exercising, or even going swimming, there are many good tucking options that can be comfortable and give you the look you want.

How to Tuck

There are a few different ways to tuck, but generally it involves hiding the penis by folding it back between the legs. Most methods push the testes up into the inguinal canal in the lower abdomen above and to the sides of the base of the penis.

WikiHow has a great tutorial on tucking (with images!).

Though it can be a little uncomfortable to start, tucking should never be painful. If your testes or penis hurt, you’ve probably got things in the wrong place or too tight.

Once folded, the penis is kept in place using a few different methods.

Option 1: Tight Underwear

The easiest, and generally most comfortable way to keep things in place is using tight underwear. You need to use pretty sturdy underwear in order for everything to stay in place. Full-coverage, athletic underwear works best as it has a lot of stretch and material to keep things where they need to be. I’ve had good luck with the Balance Tech brand.

Avoid lacy panties and thongs. Though they look nice, these don’t have enough stretch or material to really hold things in place all day.

Though not as well known, there are a number of different kinds of trans-specific underwear available on online shops like Etsy. These are designed specifically for tucking, and made out of more sturdy fabric. These designs will often include padding up front to give you more flexibility in how you tuck. A good brand to start with is LeoLines; they’re great quality but custom made, so can take a while to ship. TomBoyX also sells a tucking specific bikini panty that is pretty good, especially for exercise.

Though easy, wearing underwear will also be the least secure way to tuck; you’ll risk of things getting out of place, so its often not the best choice for more revealing clothing.

Option 2: Gaffs

The second option are gaffs. These are kind of like very sturdy underwear designed specifically for tucking, and also usually include padding up front. The good thing about gaffs is that they give you a lot more room to work with; if your penis is on the smaller side, you may not even have to fully tuck in order to get a flat look.

Because the hold is more secure and there is more room for things to move around, many trans-women find gaffs much more comfortable to wear everyday.

The downside of gaffs is they can look pretty bulky (think Depends), especially if you have a slimmer body shape or like to wear tighter clothes.

I have found are a couple of good gaff options that aren’t too bulky, and give you a nice contour for tighter fitting clothes.

Option 3: Tape

The most secure way to tuck is to tape everything in place. Generally, you’ll use a medical tape designed for use on skin, and run the tape down, under and up your behind to hold things where they need to be.

If you want to wear really tight dresses or even a swim suit, taping is your best option. Plus, you can wear whatever underwear (or no underwear) that suits your fancy.

There are a few downsides to taping:

  1. Its hard to go to the bathroom. You need to untape everything before you go, and then reapply the tape after you are done. During the day, you can usually only do this a few times before the tape doesn’t adhere as well as it needs to.
  2. It takes practice. Getting the tape in place while holding everything where it needs to be can feel a little like juggling. It will take some practice to get things in the right place and secured.
  3. It can be less comfortable. Taping gives you a pretty tight fit without a lot of room to move, so it can be more constricting and uncomfortable, especially for all-day wear.
  4. It can be messy. The glue used in tape usually leaves a residue on your skin you’ll need to clean off. Not a big deal, but one extra annoyance.

One neat product I found recently is the Tuck Tape from Unclockable. It’s a single use product, but makes taping a lot easier, and is waterproof so you can use it to swim. It’ll usually last for 3 bathroom breaks, so also is a better option for all day use than regular tape. It is a bit expensive to use everyday, but perfect for the occasions where you want security and reusability.

Last Thoughts

Can I Exercise While Tucked?

Sure you can! You may need to keep things a little looser than you would otherwise, but there is no reason you can’t tuck and exercise. Depending on what I’m doing, I’ll use either athletic underwear or the UnClockable Tuck Tape.

Plan Ahead

The best way to avoid wardrobe malfunctions is to plan ahead based on what your day looks like and what kinds of clothes you want to wear. If you won’t be able to change clothes or refresh your tuck for a long period of time, you’ll likely want to go with something more comfortable like tucking underwear. On the other hand, if you need total security for a short period of time, taping is your best bet.

Dealing with Erections

It happens. It is also pretty uncomfortable. Though the tighter the tuck, the more difficult it is to get an erection. That said, its not usually visible and likely will go away quickly. If you’re really uncomfortable, it can be a good time for a strategic bathroom break to adjust and get things re-situated.

Categories
Body Care Clothes Hygiene Lists

MtF: The Complete List of Everything You Need to Learn

notebook
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When I first decided to transition from male to female, I (naively) thought that it was as easy as growing hair, getting some boobs and wearing different clothes. I’ve got a lot more coming on how (and why) I was so wrong, but today I wanted to share my rough and evolving list of everything you’ll need to learn and be able to do in order to successfully pass as a woman.

This list isn’t exhaustive, and not meant to be intimidating. But there is a lot to learn. And while you certainly don’t need to be the best at each of these things, but you’ll generally need to be as capable as a cis-woman. Realistically, you have to learn a set of skills that every genetic woman has had a lifetime to work on.

There is no timeline for how long it takes, but the more time you put in, the faster you’ll be able to successfully pass as a woman in most situations. Think years not weeks or months.

Looks

Looks are a primary, but not exclusive, way that people identify gender.

Makeup

  • How to prep your skin for makeup
  • How and what makeup to buy (there’s a ton!)
  • How to pick the right color makeup
  • How to apply color corrector
  • How to apply foundation
  • How to apply concealer
  • How to blend colors
  • How to accent/contour your face
  • How to create eyebrows
  • How to do your eyes
  • How to do your lips
  • How and when to touch up your makeup
  • How to do subtle makeup (you can’t look like you’re going out to a club all the time!)
  • How to go about your day without touching your face (this is really hard!)
  • How to eat and drink with makeup on
  • How to take your makeup off
  • The hardest part? How to make your makeup look natural, instead of a looking like a guy wearing makeup 😜

Hair

  • How to wash your hair
  • How to prep your hair
  • What tools and products you need to buy for your hair
  • How to brush your hair
  • How to blow dry your hair
  • How to curl your hair
  • How to make your hair look like you didn’t do anything to your hair
  • How to keep your hair out of your face
  • How to keep your hair out of your face but also as close as possible to your face
  • How to not tangle your hair
  • How to keep your hair looking decent throughout the day
  • How to find a hair stylist
  • How to afford a hair stylist

Jewelry

  • What jewelry to buy
  • How to wear earrings
  • How to wear necklaces
  • How to wear simple jewelry
  • How to wear fancy jewelry

Clothes

Hahaha, clothes are a baffling ordeal. Good luck to you ma’am!

Bras/Underwear/Comfy Clothes

  • What kinds of bras you need (you need many)
  • What kinds of underwear you need (you need many)
  • How to buy bras, and from where
  • How to find bras that fit
  • How to afford bras and underwear (seriously, why is this shit so expensive?)
  • What to sleep in to keep from smashing your boobs
  • What to wear around the house when no one will see you but you still want to feel cute
  • What to wear around the house when you really don’t give a fuck
  • What is the most comfy thing you can get away wearing in public

Work Clothes

  • How to wear a skirt
  • When to wear a skirt
  • How to wear a dress
  • When to wear a dress
  • What colors to wear, and when
  • How to look professional but feminine
  • How to look feminine but not slutty
  • What to wear to keep from sweating out in the summer
  • What to wear to keep from freezing in the winter

Everyday Clothes

  • What shirts to buy that don’t make you look like you have an enormous _______________ (chest, arms, neck, shoulders, wrists, stomach….)
  • What pants/shorts to buy that don’t make you look like you have an enormous _______________ (ass, waist, thighs, calves, knees, hips….)
  • What jeans to buy
  • How to afford jeans (seriously, why is this shit so expensive?)
  • What to buy when you don’t want to be noticed
  • What to buy when you do want to be noticed
  • What to buy to avoid looking like your mom and/or sister

Shoes

  • How to buy heels
  • How to buy heels that don’t make you look slutty
  • How to avoid wearing heels
  • How to walk in heels
  • How to find a ‘cute’ shoe
  • How to find shoes that don’t make your calves look enormous
  • How to find shoes that are comfortable and cute
  • How to wear shoes that don’t stay on your feet (monkey toes!)

Body

Hygiene

  • How to shave your legs
  • How to shave your armpits
  • How to shave everything else
  • How to tuck
  • How to untuck when you have to pee
  • How to moisturize
  • How to afford all the moisturizers you need

Movement/Posture

  • How to sit like a woman
  • How to walk like a woman
  • How to run like a woman
  • How to sleep with breasts
  • How to sleep ‘cute’
  • How to keep your boobs from knocking into things, or things knocking into your boobs
  • How to keep kids from always putting their elbows into your boobs
  • How to do ________ like a woman (use a computer? That looks different when women do it!)

Everything Else

Emotions

  • How to cope with sucking at everything
  • How to cope with feeling like you’ll never make any progress
  • How to cope with never having enough time to practice all the absolutely necessary things
  • How to cope with being clocked
  • How to cope with looking ugly
  • How to cope with assholes
  • How to cope with hopelessness
  • How to cope with exhaustion from coping all the damn time
  • How to make the feeling last when you finally catch a glimpse of the person you knew you could be

People

  • How to respond to the person who is trying to figure out if you’re trans in not-so subtle ways
  • How to avoid getting raped/killed
  • How to avoid getting hit on
  • How to get hit on by the person you want to hit on you
  • How to tell your friends
  • How to tell your family
  • How to find a therapist
  • How to find a doctor
  • How to find a career coach
  • How to find new friends

I’m sure I’m missing obvious things, so let me know what things you had to learn in the comments!

Categories
Clothes

Best Bras for MtF Breasts

Photo by Castorly Stock on Pexels.com

Breasts come in all different shapes and sizes, regardless of whether you grew them in puberty or more recently. Just like there is no ‘standard’ breast shape for cis women, there is no standard for trans women either.

That said, there are some general anatomical differences between cis and trans women that can effect the shape of the breast and fit of the bra. Generally, trans women will have broader shoulders and a wider rib-cage, leading to different breast-to-band ratios (the metric used to determine cup size). The wider rib cage also means that trans breasts are generally farther apart, with more space in between, than cis women’s breasts.

Trans breast shape can also be different, with most trans women stoping at Tanner Stage 4, while most cis-women get closer to Stage 5. This matters less than overall rib cage size for Bra fit, however, as the breast will generally deform to fit the bra cup.

The last factor for most trans women is breast size. Without breast augmentation, most trans women will see their growth stop somewhere around an A or B cup. Combined with the larger chest diameter, this can make finding an appropriately small cupped bra hard at the larger band sizes, since cis women tend to have proportionally larger breast to band ratios.

How to accurately measure your bra size

I see a lot of confusion out there on how to find your bra size. Since most trans women (especially early on) don’t want to get fitted at a store, it can be a really confusing process, and the bra industry largely assumes you already know your measurements.

Bra sizing is determined based on two measurements, the band and the bust. Band is measured around your chest just under where the breast starts to protrude outwards. Bust is measured around your chest at the nipples (usually the widest part). For both measurements, you’ll want to round up, rather than down (you’ll see why later) to the nearest whole number. Band sizes are generally spaced by 2” increments, e.g. 34”, 36” etc. Again, you’ll want to round up.

Cup size is determined by subtracting the bust size from the band size. The difference between the two is the cup size; 0 or less is an AA/AAA, 1” is an A, 2” is a B cup, etc. BUT, and this is what most people miss, you have to add 4” to the band size in order to get an accurate bra size. So a 36A bra has a true band measurement of 32” with a bust measurement of 37”.

Finding a bra that fits

The problem for trans women is that the increased size of the rib-cage will throw off the cup volume measurement, because the chest itself takes up more space than is assumed in the standard bra sizing tables. So while your measurements might show you are a 40B (36” band and 42” bust) your boobs will be swimming in your bra cups, and you might actually find a 42A fits you better.

That said, there are a couple of companies that specialize in bras for small-cupped women, which tend to fit the shape of trans bodies better. Here are a few of my favorites. (Note I’m currently a 36AA, so small cup size is harder to find than band size for me. Many of you ladies will have the opposite problem of struggling to find a larger band size.)

  • Lulalu: This is my go to brand for bras. They have a great selection of small cup bras, both wired and wire free, starting in AAA cups. The band sizes are definitely on the smaller end, but the underwires are generally flatter and farther apart and fit the wider chest of trans women better. The matching panties are great too 😉.
  • Pepper: Also a great choice, and I own a few of their different styles. Bra cups tend to run a bit bigger, starting at AA cups up through B. Band sizes are also a bit bigger, and you can find a 40AA in some styles.
  • Little Women: A British company that caters to small chested women. Lots of great styles, but sometimes hard to find in stock.

Things to look for when bra shopping

Part of the fun of having breasts is wearing all different types of bras. As you build your collection, there are generally some things to think about, especially as you’re trying to find the perfect fit.

  • Look for wire-free. Generally, underwires in bras designed for cis women are going to be less comfortable for most trans women. This is because the underwire is designed for a smaller rib-cage, and you’ll find it digs into the outside of your breast in an uncomfortable way. Wire-free avoids this problem by ditching the wire entirely, with a soft yet firm band of fabric underneath the cup supporting the breast. This will fit your chest shape much more naturally and be a whole lot more comfortable.
  • When in doubt, go bigger band and smaller cup. As mentioned above, if you struggle with the sizing of standard bras, you can move up in band size and down in cup size to get a better fit. The breast volume on a 34B and a 36A is exactly the same, but the ratio of band size to bust size is different. This tends to provide a better fit on the trans female rib cage.
  • Pullover styles are your friend. As sexy as a underwire Demi cup might look, for everyday you may find a pullover style bra more comfortable, as the band will stretch and size won’t be as important. There are plenty of pull overs that are sexy, lacy, and all the things you might look for in a bra, while also being a lot more comfortable and forgiving of trans body shapes.

I’d love to hear what bra brands and styles you find work best for you in the comments!